Tuesday, 22 November 2016

Open Letter to Weight Monitoring Spirits


Dear Weight Watchers/Nigerians, 

First of all "You've added weight" is not a form of greeting. Secondly, we have mirrors, we bath ourselves everyday and cloth our bodies ourselves, if we've added weight, trust me, we know. Finally, if your "weight comment" is not positive, then shove it in between a patty so I can eat it. 

Why this rant? I've been getting a lot of comments on my weight, which I haven't noticed, except that my ass is getting bigger (thank you Jesus! If you're a friend you'll understand my obsession with having a bigger butt lol). Anyways, these days it's a salutation from people before hello and I just roll my eyes. Sometimes I play it off if we are cool, other times I ignore it. But really, what do you want me to do with your "you're getting/you've gotten fatter" comment? Since it came out of your mouth, please tell me, of what value is your comment? I don't go around commening on people's weight so why feel the need to do so on mine or anyone's for that matter?

Here's a sample preggo snap

If you're on my snapchat, then you must know that I'm fond of putting up my pregnant "food baby" picture and video when I've overfed. In my head it's a talent and probably what I would do if I were in a beauty pageant contest and it also gives me an idea of what I would look like when I'm pregnant. And if I do say so myself, I'm gonna have a cute ass bump! Anyway, back to the matter. It fascinates a lot of my friends that I can push my tummy out that much to look 3/4 months pregnant. So last weekend in Jos, after overfeeding my fine ass, I put up one and this guy took it upon his honourable self to comment about my body. He goes "you need to do something about your body, you're looking like a potato now" First of all, boy please! Have you seen me naked? Ain't nothing potato about this. Then it doesn't stop there, he goes "you used to have Eiffel Tour legs, now you have Statue of Liberty legs", what the hell does that even mean? Where is the sense in that comment? And I'm not even close to this negro for him to be spewing out this. You people need to help me thank God for salvation and the companionship of the Holy Spirit because the response I wanted to give him ehn, chai....

All I'm trying to say is, stop being a monitoring spirit on my body weight and I speak for some when I say, your comment is really of no value. You know how we were taught "if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything" when we were growing up? Apply that here. And watch what you say to people, if someone is struggling with their self confidence, you're only going to destroy it further. Thankfully, my identity is fully rooted in Christ, so I draw my confidence and value from what He has to say and not another human being. However, not everyone has come to that realisation, so please keep your weight comment to yourself except you're coming from a place of genuine concern for the person's health. And even with that, there are rules and guidelines that you should abide by. Having said that, I have come to the end of my rant. Thanks for your kind consideration.

Yours Truly, 
My-Fat-Ass-Is-Not-Your-Business
B

3 comments:

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  2. Firstly Bondi, your food baby is beyond perfect ! Makes it look like a proper one...Then this whole post yeah ? I feeeeel you ! Having people remind you about your weight always is the worst thing ever when it's so so clear to you. Can't even deal

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    Replies
    1. Hahah! Thank you so much hun! Everytime I do it, it gets me excited about pregnancy lol. I wish people would stop commenting on body weights, it's uncomfortable especially when you're not close like that. Thanks for liking xoxo

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