Thursday, 25 February 2016

101 Questions To Ask Before Committing


So after my devotions yesterday, while still seated on the floor, all these questions started running through my mind on what to ask J (we'll call him that for now). I mean I know it's still new and all but no one wants to far with someone and realise they wasted their time. Frankly I'm tired of dating, giving my heart out and having to pick up the pieces and hand them back to God to put me back together. I know He's not complaining but it gets old doesn't it? I decided that before things got any further I was gonna make sure I had the answer to all these questions to see if we were compatible; spiritually, emotionally, physically and even financially. It's all part of my doing things differently this year (stop the madness right?)

I put them in no particular order, I just wrote as they came to mind and some, I had to scout for inspiration online as I got stuck at a particular point. At number 76, I began to ask myself why I started it in the first place but thank God I persevered to 101. I thought I would share them here incase anyone found it useful too. So these questions are for the committed, the scouters, the dating, the yet-to-be-engaged... I think all sorts of couples can ask them. Some questions seem silly and others serious but in my opinion, each question reveals the person's character and heart if you pay attention. Plus, what does it hurt to go into a battlefield well prepared? (yup relationships are battlefields, you're constantly fighting hussies, ego, selfishness, etc...)

Have fun!

1. What’s your relationship with God like?
2. How often do you pray?
3. What’s your relationship with your parents like?
4. What’s your parents’ marriage like?
5. How often do you fast?
6. Do you save?
7. Do you tithe?
8. Do you go to church?
9. Do you serve in the house of God? If no, do you intend to?
10. Do you want to get married?
11. How would you resolve conflict with your spouse? (You may give a scenario)
12. Do you want children?
13. How many?
14. Do birthdays and other celebrations mean anything to you?
15. What’s your love language?

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

When Did I Stop Being Me?


I was sitting on my bed reading “The Wait” by DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good, yes I’m celibate (a struggling celibacy student but persevering) and I got to the section on how you need to know yourself before you get married/commit to a serious relationship, otherwise your identity becomes defined by your status quo, X’s wife X’s mother etc. Is that news to me? Obviously not, but something about reading it again this morning struck me. First of all, I decided to go on an entertainment fast this week because I felt like I was slipping into old habits and straying from God. So, no social networks for me, no “worldly” entertainment; music and TV shows that plant sexual seeds in my heart and the last one, don’t judge me, no playing Farm Heroes. It’s like candy crush, the twin of candy crush, it’s just as addicting (who makes these games anyways?) I put it on my list because it was taking up so much of my time that could be better spent being productive. I’m not kidding, I would literally wake up in the middle of the night to pass a level because I know my lives have been restored or you could be talking to me, saying something really important and I would pick up my phone and start playing farm heroes, when we all know I have the attention span of a fish. It was an issue I tell you; I know you’re probably wondering why I didn’t delete the game then. Well there’s no need to be rash (I probably sound like an addict, pft!)