Monday, 25 February 2013

Unanswered questions

Do you think everyone deserves to be happy?
Does everyone get redemption?
For even the most egregious crimes?
Do you think everyone deserves a second chance?
Even after a betrayal?
Is it possible to forgive and forget as well?
Is there a way to shut the voices in my head right now?

Lord knows I'll love to sleep... Peacefully as well

Voices in my head...

Have you ever made a mistake? One you never thought you'd recover from? One that made you question a lot of the things you've learnt so far from life? Have you ever found yourself in an all to unfamiliar place? So strange and cold and empty? Was it rock bottom for you? Feels like rock bottom to me.

Have you ever just wanted to curl up in the dark and just cry? Not necessarily depression... Just an overwhelming feeling. Overwhelmed from a lot of events, school? Work? Relationships? Just bury yourself under your duvet and switch off your phone?

Have you ever found yourself drifting through life? No control of what's happening to you? Among friends yet still lonely? Emotionally drained? Mentally exhausted? What did you do? What was your remedy? Cause nothing seems to be working for me right now.

Do you think everyone bounces back from a mistake?

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Reflections

See the cracks in her smile
Hear the agony in her voice
The pain in her eyes
She walks with confidence
Moves with grace
Taking the room with her
She speaks in soft tones
She commands your attention
Demure yet appealing
But there's always more than what meets the eyes
For if you look twice
You would really see that
She's just a broken woman
Hiding behind a picture perfect
A woman who just wants to be happy
In search of companion
Bent but indeed not broken

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Friday, 8 February 2013

I was his Marilyn Monroe...

Inspired by Beyonce

White is the new Black

White is the new Black

Alexander mcqueen
alexandermcqueen.com

Chloé crepe pants
mytheresa.com

Yves Saint Laurent pointy-toe pumps
$605 - harveynichols.com

Prada
$3,995 - flannelsfashion.com

Tom ford eyewear
marissacollections.com

What is Love?

What is Love?
Is it your smile?
Is it the butterflies in my tummy?
Is it the friend who knows you're hurt before you accept it?
Is it really patient?
Is it kind indeed?
Is it in a mother's scolding?
Or in feeding the poor?

Does it lie hidden in the darkest places?
Or is it out in the daylight?
Does it have a face?
A voice?
An identity?
Is it true
Or is it false?
What is Love?

An answer I do not have,
One thing I know
Love is love.
Whatever that means
What is love to you?
When do you know to let go?
How do you know?
Do you just know?
That you need to let 'em go?
What if you don't want to?
What if it's the hardest thing you've ever done?

Sunday, 3 February 2013

Prayer of St Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen

Letter to my unborn daughter

Hi baby,
I haven't met you yet but I love you so dearly already. I don't know when we're going to meet. Five years from now? Ten? Only time will tell.

I can't wait to touch you, smother you with kisses, have your little fingers grasp mine for the first time. I wish you'd remain my little princess for ever. I hope we always make up after every fight, cause there would be a lot. Hehe. But never ver forget that I love you and have your best interest at heart. I can't wait to buy you your first pair of heels. And take you out for lunches and spas. I can't wait to hear all about your first love.

And I can't wait to tell you a lot of things either. I started a little diary for you today. To serve as a guideline. From me to you, from my mistakes and the lessons I've learnt. I hope you make yours too and they help you grow into a strong independent woman.

Mama loves you soo much already it's ridiculous. But I'm going to say a little prayer for you now and everyday till I die.

Love,
Mum

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Find The Time

Find the time 
The time to read
To smell the flowers
To paint your dream
To have coffee with a friend
To learn a new craft
To write a letter
To bake a surprise cake
To go somewhere special
To REALLY be with the person you love
Or even do nothing for a while...

Find the time to be happy. There's never going to be enough time in a day, week, month, year or lifetime to do all that you want. Create the time....

Rediscovering Myself

Do you ever feel like maybe along the way you lost yourself? Stopped doing the things you once loved and lost yourself in the process.... and perhaps lost a little bit of your happiness as well?

I remember my ex boyfriend, he used to paint and when I discovered that I always tried to push him. To do the things he once loved; painting and singing. But now I realise I was a hypocrite and the one in dire need of the pushing. I realised this morning while I was cleaning up that I stopped doing a lot of things that once made me happy, I stopped doing a lot of my hobbies and I kind of lost myself in the process.

So I'm back to rediscovering myself before it's too late. I used to like baking and cooking; trying out new recipes. So I'm starting there first. I have tons of cookbooks in my room, dusty now but not anymore for I've decided that atleast every 1-2 weeks I'd try a new recipe. I had other habits and hobbies I loved as well, so I'm making a list of all of them and I'm going to try to adapt them back into my lifestyle. See if I still like them or not. We'll see. First things first I'm baking blueberry muffins tomorrow. Wish me luck. I'll post pictures, success or not.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is sometimes all we really need to do is go back to our roots. We always go round searching for happiness, but maybe in the wrong places. Maybe we had happiness all along, hidden there, in the corner, in our hearts, in the little things, the little things we thought were insignificant. We think happiness lies in the big things, the grand gestures but really it's the little things... It's always the little things, has always been.

Numb

You know one of those nights when you're just not fine? But you don't even know what's wrong? Feels like everything that cold go wrong just did?

I have two options. I could drown my liver in alcohol or listen to loud music, shut the voices in my head up.

Oh here's a better choice, why not both?