Sunday, 30 December 2012

Memoirs of A Mistress

And every night while I lay to rest, I stayed awake and thought to myself
Did he really love me or was I just a recreational activity?
Did I want to be his mistress forever?
I only wanted to be his, I never stopped to think
Not for one second about the consequences
I never meant to cause any harm
I never meant to live a lie
No I never meant to be selfish
But for so long I never got my way
And as I sit here and try to justify my actions
Even I don't feel right

Did I enjoy the thrill of sneaking around
Damn sure I did, it was the very thing that kept me going
But after all was said and done
He still stood up and he left me
Left me all alone with the sins we committed
And no matter how hard I scrubbed
Or soaked or exfoliated, there was that little stain
That stubborn stain that tormented me
Reminded me I would always be the other woman

I only wanted him in my bed each night
To lay with me, be with me, hold me
Feel his kisses, feel his touch, feel him
I just didn't want to be his dirty little secret
I don't want to share him I just want to be the only one
I love him but he loves her
I wonder did she know?
Did she know he gave her love away?
Shared it with a woman in a downtown motel
When she looked in his eyes could she tell?
Did she stay up at night and think as I did
Did she feel worthless like I did
Cause when I look in the mirror
All I see is what I am; the other woman

Friday, 28 December 2012

What are you so scared of?

I recently had to endure listening to a friend complaining about the single life and how she really wanted to be in a relationship *sigh* so I'm dedicating this post to her.

I wonder why people think relationships are glamorous, it takes real hard work and commitment you know, and tolerance, patience, communication, endurance, compromise, the list could go on and on. Don't let Tumblr deceive you. Sure there would be roses and forehead kisses and PDAs but that's just one part of the package.


I could introduce you to married people who say their single days were the best days of their lives. When you're in a relationship there's no I or Me, it's two of you now, or three if you count that one persistent girl trying to screw things up. But your single days? that's all you baby. Your shot to be greedy, to do things for yourself, to be irresponsible, to discover who you really are; that kinda makes being in a relationship better. Discover the world, travel around, find out your talents, what you're not so good at, work on those bad habits. And since most of us are in Uni right now, face your damn books! Learn to be on your own, be independent. Stop jumping from one relationship to another, why are you so scared of being on your own for a little while? Take yourself on dates; contrary to popular belief IT IS NOT SAD! just like it takes a man really confident of his sexuality to wear pink, it takes just as much confidence to have lunch or see a movie on your own. The best relationship one could ever have is with oneself. And when you've loved yourself the best way that you can, you discover your worth and settle for nothing less.

I promise you when you're done living the single life, being in a relationship gets better. Then we would have less "in a relationship, but acting single" people around the world. I'm gonna leave you with two quotes

You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose." 
- Jo Courdert

and  from my very favourite

Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first 
- Carrie Bradshaw

Love,
B

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Merry Christmas Everyone

P.S my bestfriend isn't talking to me cause of this video. Buahhhahahahah

Thursday, 20 December 2012

A Masterpiece of Imperfections

The one thing every girl struggles with at one point in her life or the other is her appearance; If I was only a bit taller, If I weighed just a little less, If only I had that smile... Have I struggled with the way I look? Yes, still do sometimes but my devotions today was exactly what I needed to hear.

It was a simple message; I am God's masterpiece. Joel Osteen said we need to start seeing ourselves as the masterpiece God created us to be. If He wanted you to be shorter or taller or lighter in complexion He would have made you that way. But you came with your flaws and all, and those people you secretly admire have their flaws as well, probably worse than yours. It's all in the way you carry yourself. It doesn't matter what others say about you; truth is people reflect what you give them. If you carry yourself in an inferior manner then they are going to treat you that way. Just cause you're shorter or fatter than the rest doesn't mean anything. What you lack in physique you make up for in personality.

That said, It's not the easiest thing to accept either, not when everyone around you looks like they walked off the Fashion Week runway. So start a little ritual, have a post it note or notes around reminding you just how beautiful you are. Tell yourself that every morning before you go out "I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a Masterpiece of God. I am beautiful on the inside and the outside". If you think it and you breathe life into it by saying it out loud eventually you would believe it. Most importantly stay humble, being self confident doesn't mean you are better than any one else it just means you believe you're not less than anyone else.

True beauty isn't the make up you have on or the clothes and accessories. True beauty radiates from the inside
         -Bondi

Beauty is how you feel inside and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical
         -Sophia Loren

There is nothing more attractive than confidence. Once you see your beauty so will everyone else
      -Anonymous

Stay true to you, stay bea-you-tiful.

Love,
B
















Zayyad's Surprise Dinner

Zayyad didn't want to celebrate his birthday. Of course we couldn't let that happen so we organised him a surprise dinner which he truly loved (if he didn't then he's a better actor than I thought). Anyways I love my bestfriend so much I can't even explain it. Just wanted to share the pictures with you lots.



























Saturday, 15 December 2012

A moment of silence

My heart goes out to the families of the little kids who lost their lives in the Connecticut shooting. There isn't a lot that can be said or done to bring them back but we can pray for them. For their souls to rest in peace and for God to be a source of comfort to the families especially the mothers. It's not easy losing a child of yours; father or mother, it's just not easy.

I personally don't know what to say about the shooter, I have no anger left in me at who could do such a thing so I've prayed for justice to be done on their behalf. Life is unpredictable and short, this just shows that you're time could be up any day any time, regardless of your age. I hope those reading this can take a moment to be thankful for the gift of life... it's such a priceless gift that shouldn't be taken for granted.


Thursday, 13 December 2012

Imagine...


I love this song so much but this is my favourite cover of the song. Such a strong message. Hope you like it xxx

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

7) Sarah Kigozi

I only met Sarah this year when I transferred to University of Westminster and judging by the short period that I've known her, I know she's going to do wonders in the world. She's the bubbly petite girl on the cheerleading squad but she's more than that...

Before I met Sarah I had this obsession for babies (still do), but you know those really adorable baby pictures you see on tumblr or people's display picture and can't help but steal and then fantasize about having a cute one of yours someday... well one fateful evening Sarah and I were studying; she's my study partner and I was going on and on about wanting an adorable baby and she said to me "well what if you get a disabled child?" and added on about how it isn't always the beauty I should pray for but also the health of the baby. Changed my view that day and I only started praying for a healthy baby. Thing is we all want cute adorable babies but the real challenge is what happens when we have a disabled child instead. It takes alot of courage, faith and time to love them just as much as you would have loved that tumblr baby.

Sarah has dedicated her time and passion to working with a disabled children's charity called Bernado's. Her life plans revolve around working with this kids to give them a better life, supporting them, nurturing them and even educating them. She hopes to change the lives of such kids in Uganda; her home town someday and not just there but the world. She's going to do amazing things on behalf of those kids because she has a passion for that, to love and cherish them like any other child.  I wouldn't be surprised if she owned her own charity someday because that's where she's headed.

Susan Hampshire once said "it's a lonely existence to be a child with a disability which no one can see or understand..." but with people like Sarah Kigozi in the world I believe that kids out there would be less lonely because she is a guardian angel for them. 

Monday, 10 December 2012

Let Go

I was having my devotions and saw this. I just had to share because it spoke soo much to me. Hope it does for you too


... You must not use the past as an excuse. You must refuse to blame your past for your present or let it ruin your future. You can never relive your past. You can't go back and make it different. You are not the person you were then an you are never going to be that person again. You can't go back into your mothers womb... Your past is past. Accept that fact; dismiss what used to be; and move on. Let go of anything that is holding you back, slowing you down, or keeping you all bound up inside... There is more ahead of you than there is behind you. Let go and move on
Don't judge yourself by others' standards... Have your own
And don't get caught up into the trap of changing yourself to fit the world,
The world has to change to fit you.
And if you stick to your principles, values and morals long enough, it will.
Berry Gordy

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

All Ye Holy

Random ranting moment:
I have had it till here (touches chin) with all the negative judgemental comments being made about girls who sleep around. Yes I'm focusing on girls because no one ever addresses the boys. I mean who are you to judge? Keep talking shit about how guys are going to want the virgins later in the future. Oh hello I didn't know you had been appointed the spokesman for ALL MEN! And why are you judging in the first place? can we examine your life and see that it is spotless? That you've never lied? or cheated in a test or even had one brief moment of lustful thoughts hmmmm?

I ain't even trying to justify their lifestyle here but they chose theirs and you chose yours, we all know that you live with the choices you make. If you're angry they are getting some well why don't you get yours? But don't sit behind your laptops or phones and go about tweeting or talking trash about them. And if you want them to live a better life then judging them isn't the right way to go about it. Live by example people.

P.s No one is perfect. We all sin, just cause you ain't fornicating don't mean you're not committing any other form of sin. Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone. Can we please leave the judging to God? Thank you.


Monday, 3 December 2012

This Christmas

Hey y'all,
So we in december now and I'm mad excited. My favourite season, christmas with the family has always been one adventurous journey after the other. Sadly this is going to be my first christmas away from home. Can't say that I'm happy. I'm going to miss the family house and my extra large family (note never ask me how many we are in my family cause I don't even know). Anyways we usually go back to the village and have a 2-3 days never ending party, from barbecues to dinners to random dance competitions in the compound with our very own Marghi John Legend, Kuchi (some of you know him), never a glamourous time for us girls who are working all day and night non stop but hey as long as we're with family it's the best period. Not going to lie and say I'm going to miss cooking for about 100 people every day though but I'm going to miss the arguments, jokes, grumping about, juicy gossips and laughters.

Yeah I know it isn't close to Christmas yet but I just watched This Christmas and it made me cry; yeah I'm a cry baby for movies, some of you already know that. Oh wells this is my favourite scene, apart from the scene when Lisa whooped Malcom's ass for cheating on her (Future Husband be warned). Anyways is there anything better than family?



P.s My Christmas wishlist is coming soon, watch out for it :D

Saturday, 1 December 2012

6) Kyrian Ikoku aka AsherStorm

In arts there are painters who leave pictures behind for the world to admire centuries later and there are poets whose words we recite decades after decades. In my era we have lyricists, poetry has taken a different turn. I know everyone wants to rap these days but so little have the words to move you. But not this guy; Kyrian Ikoku.

Kyrian and I go way back to when we were little. We were good friends and he was the cute shy guy who sat at the back of class and then we lost touch. Years later I get in touch with him again but to a different Kyrian; the guy who usually had little to say was gone, now in his place was a bolder person with a lot on his mind to share with the world. It's not the cliche "popping bottles in the club" or "let me see what you're twerking with" sort of lyrics, it's words that cut through to your soul and get you thinking. The kind you steal to tweet or use as your BBM status hehe.

So maybe years from now future generations won't have poems to recite in literature classes but lyricists whose words inspire them to make a change either in their personal lives or in the world. My personal favorite is a duet he did with Maffy Beatz, (who happens to be his cousin, I see talent runs in the family), When Angels Fall, it's worth a listen.


Twitter: @AsherStorm
Instagram: Asher_Storm











5) Jefferson Aipoh aka Maffy Beatz

Music they say is the expression of words we can't speak and without it life would be nothing. Imagine a world without music, could you live in it? Now imagine if every song had no beat to it, wouldn't that be boring? If there's any one I know would make a difference in the music industry it's gotta be Jeff. I've never seen anyone so passionate about producing music more than this guy. Each new beat he releases is a wonderful work of art, pleasing to your soul and soothing to your ear, whether it makes you want to dance or just meditate, his fingers are magical.

He's the silly friend every one needs who makes you laugh when you're sad and never seems to be serious half of the time. When he isn't being an aeronautical engineering student then he's in the studio making beats for musicians and truly from what I've heard so far every piece is eargasmic (yeah I said it -_-). It's one thing to be able to sing and another to be able to write a song but if you don't have the right beats to go with it then all you have is nice words on a paper and a nice voice. Maffy brings your music to life, he gives it rhythm and he gives it that oomf.

If you ever need beats he's the guy you go to. The next Don Jazzy or better. Such an amazing personality you would enjoy working with him. I know he's going to do a lot for the music industry in Nigeria, seeing as it's the next big industry in Nigeria with everyone now singing or rapping I suggest you go to him to hook you up. You won't regret it.

Twitter: @Maffy_Beatz
Listen to one of his songs on: http://soundcloud.com/maffy-beatzz