Tuesday, 19 June 2012

What Next?

It's that time of the year again; end of the academic year. For some it's one lap completed another to run, for others it's the end of the race. Hearts relieving as results come out and you realise you're officially a graduate. Oh the sweet sigh of relief as you appreciate all those nights you burnt the midnight candle, desperately draining every last drop of coffee to stay awake and meet a deadline, the days of dissertation were everything around you ceased to be; like time itself had paused in the moment, and those 9 a.m classes, boy!.....But now it's over and you anticipate the graduation ceremony and getting to turn the tassel around and walk out that door like a boss (sory caught in the moment). Sweet feeling isn't it? But sooner or later the question, so what's next? Pops up in your subconsciousness and you begin to ponder on life changing decisions. For some ambitious people it's a Master's degree and for other's who don't have a choice as well it's still masters *cough* Nigerians. For some it's taking over the family business or being introduced to it and for others it's marriage (Le sigh of life). And for alot of people you just don't know yet. As a Nigerian I know my choices are quite limited; definitely masters then NYSC, but more so are the limitations for the fact that I'm a girl. Very soon the old people would begin their national anthem of marriage and children (rolls eyes) but like Aisha (my good friend) and I were thinking; do they ever stop to think that just maybe there may be a life outside Nigeria? A world much bigger than the small box they live in? Sadly most people would never know of that world as they are assured to be slapped if they mention plans other than further education and marriage. Life is all about risk take right? I'm not saying buy a ticket and move to a foreign country; that one dey your back pocket oh! Life is no Eat, Pray, Love movie. But I'm saying this is where the real journey begins; the rest of your life is being shaped right now. Where you go from now on, the choices you make; it's no longer short term effects but life time consequences. Dare to dream and live your life less you wake up one morning angry at the world because you left your canvass bare and your paint out to dry. Let your dream and your passion and whatever course you take be your ticket to Life. "The rest of your life is being shaped right now, with the dreams you chase, the choices you make and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time and the rest of your life stars now" OTH I wish you all the best in your lives. Here's to success, happiness and a purpose driven life *Clink* Love, B

Friday, 15 June 2012

Lean on me

Everyday I take a particular route for my daily walk; and it started getting boring till I noticed this aged couple. Every evening I passed them taking a walk so today i decided to walk slowly behind them and observe (of course from a distance). He had some difficulty walking; kinda looked like he was learning to walk again, the lady (im guessing his wife) was supporting him while he was also depending on his crane for balance. I could also make out that she was talking to him, i watched her patiently talking him through his baby steps, perhaps encouraging him and occassionally he would look up and smile at her and talk back. As I admired them for this ritual that they had created for themselves I couldnt help thinking of their love story together from the beginning. It struck a chord in my heart. It was truly a beautiful sight. To know that she had meant it when she said 'in sickness and in health' and see her act it out in my presence. God bless her heart. I also thought about how the roles had changed from the days when he supported her and lifted her in his strong arms to now when in his feeble days she was his source of strength. And then I imagined her tucking him into bed with the same smile that said 'I'll still be here when you wake up tomorrow". It truly was a pleasant sight and even as I write this I can't help smiling at the thought of them. Everyone needs someone to see them through their ups and downs, strong days and weak days, days of sunshine and stormy days. Some are lucky to find true love and others find comfort in friends and family and a lot find that love in God. I pray that wherever you find yourself that you would always have someone who would stick with you through everything. Someone you can count on to always be there for you. Someone who would love you for who you are, your shortcomings, your imperfections and your weaknesses. And now I can't stop Bill Wither's Lean on me playing in my head: Lean on me when you're not strong I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on For it won't be long Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on. Goodnight, B

Short sighted

Dear diary, Just today I found out a colleaugue of mine was gay, someone I spoke to almost everyday, my friends couldn't stop laughing at my shocked facial expression when I was told. They couldn't believe I missed out all the signs to which they retorted that my "gaydar" was terrible; almost non existent. In my defence I don't look at people and try to figure out their sexual lives; what they do behind closed doors does not concern me -_-. However on the train ride I kept thinking, it's not just me right? These things happen. Are we really that blind to society? That we don't really see what's going on? Today it's someone coming out of the closet, tomorrow its a suburban wife with the perfect life committing suicide. Everyone wears a mask; this I know. Of course it is not your responsibility to know the troubles of the person seated next to you on the train but what about your loved ones? They will put up a facade and pretend to be happy but don't get too blinded by this that you miss the big picture until something fatal happens. Not everyone likes to show that vulnerable side, but could you really live with the guilt of knowing you could have done something but were to "blind" to see it? Make it a habit to look beyond what you see. Love, B

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Her version of love

I don't want a memory, I want forever
A love that will last a lifetime
The kind that consumes you from within
Which surpasses reason and logic
One which gives you butterflies in your tummy
And make your knees go weak
That make your limbs limber
Like butter on hot toast
A love that turns your world upside down
Yet calms you in its presence
A great man once wrote that
The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds
Is that too much to ask for? A girl can dream cant she?

Monday, 11 June 2012

Letter to a friend


Dear Stranger,
Isn't it funny how we were once inseperable and now we walk by each other like we don't exist to the other? Faces fixed on the floor, memories slowly fading, no one making any move? I know I tried but you said you needed your space. So I gave you just that, sadly that space turned into estrangement. I wonder do you still care? behind the non challant front you put up, do I still cross your mind? Or am I just another being in the world you don't give two about? What went wrong? Is there anything I could say to make it better? any thing I could do to patch things up? I miss making you laugh, I miss talking to you, I miss making silly faces for a picture with you, I miss staying up late night to talk about nothing with you, most of all I miss you more than you could ever know. You're probably never gonna get to read this letter but a part of me hopes that you could. A part of me wishes you would swallow your pride and come back to me. I guess just like Neyo I'm trying to clear some mental space cause thoughts of our friendship hunt my memory in the dark of the night. Here I am writing you a letter of all the things I would never admit, it's the things that my heart is burning to say but my mouth is shut for good. I guess our pride is the force that drove us further apart. I just want to let you know that I'm not going to give up on you because once loved never forgotten.

I miss you,
Forgotten Friend x

Rebirth

Ever watched a birth video or witnessed an actual childbirth? Not a pretty sight I tell ya. They come out head first (should always be that way except if complications arise) and that's the hardest part of labour, pushing put the head. Once the head has been successfully pushed out the rest of the body just seems to slide out and then there's the doctor holding this bundle of joy and all the screaming in the room stops as everyone pauses to admire this baby. Now that is a wonderful sight. Why am I telling you this? Along the way while you're embarking this journey you're faced with struggles. Afterall no one said it was gonna be easy. But what do you do when you feel like your whole world is turned upside down? or when you just want to give up because you can't take it? here's what you do. You change your mind set; change the way you think, the way you look at circumstances. When you flip the switch from negative thoughts to positive thoughts, things begin to work out for you. Remember the childbirth, how the head comes out first and when it does everything else just slides out. Do that too, tell yourself 'I'm coming out head first' and you would see that things would begin to change around you. It's a new month, change the way you think.

Love,
B