Saturday, 31 March 2012

Hello Victoria Secret

If you were in despair at the news of La senza cutting back on a lot of ist stores, fear not my darlings for world renown master of sexy lingerie; Victoria Secret is coming to the London; new bond street this summer. With confirmation of a second store at Westfield shopping centre, shepherd's bush. I can't think of a better way to start my summer than a shopping spree for some sexy lingerie and bikinis to hit the beach with ;)

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

The Uncertainty of Tomorrow

So there I was standing at liverpool street station lost in my own world, thanks to my Blackberry, and this man walks up to me from nowhere. First reaction; panic but one more look at him and I noticed he was the uncanning image of hunger, homelessness and probably depression. And then he asked for 20p to save up and get a kebab and I immediately felt bad for him and decided to help. As I reach into my bag for my wallet, he stops me and says "wow you're so kind you didn't even hesitate, May God bless you" and of course everyone wants to be blessed so there I am opening my wallet with a beaming smile on my face as if I had just won a lottery and then he adds, "Thank you for helping me, God can make anyone homeless". Truth is I don't know how he got to where he was, if it was a test of faith or a consequence of his wrong decisions, I cannot say, but he was damn right.
We ride in our fancy cars and wear our raybans, stacking our wallets with bills and feeling like nothing could go wrong tomorrow. But guess what genius; it CAN and most likely will. You can go to bed with a huge figure in your account and wake up the next day and realise you're whole world is crashing down on you and you're losing alot faster than it took to gain them. And God forbid you find yourself one day on the streets like that man begging. It might not get that bad but you get my drift. And let me ask you something would you rather have the world turn its back on you, judging you every single time you passed, whispering that you lost your money to gambling or snickering at the sight of your fall or have them embrace you in their arms and help you when they can; give you food to eat and a few change to spare? No one knows what tomorrow has in store for us we can only hope it's for the best so please give when you can and when you have because God blessed you to bless others. Remember this;
THE GOOD YOU DO, COMES BACK TO YOU

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

The Haunting

Been running soo long she didn't realise she was lost
Lost her way back and couldn't move forward
So there she stood, stuck in the middle of nowhere
Forced to face her greatest fear which to her surprise turned out to be her
She had led herself to believing that
If she could physically run away from her problems,
It would have the same effect mentally
Little girl had it wrong the whole time
She didn't realise that no matter how far you tried to run
Some demons just stuck with you forever
Thoughts she tried to blank out came rushing at her
Like a thousand bats trying o flee an illuminated room
The voices she had blanked out
Kept ringing in her head like a tripped fire alarm
Images from events she purposely wiped out took a slide show on her
Lost for what to do, she screamed out, hands on her head,
Trying to block her ears like it would help,
Finally giving into defeat, she slumped on the floor
Wth nowhere to run, she had to face them all
Her demons had come back to hunt her
After all you can run but you can't hide

Sunday, 18 March 2012

My Superhero


Everyone needs a superhero in their life just as everyone needs a mother too. I've been fortunate to have  more than one mum. Now my biological mother I never got along with for a long period; blame it on puberty. I felt she didn't understand me and I couldn't open up to her cause I hadn't lived with her for about 8 years. And even though my mum and I are not the best of friends or as close as I would want us to be I can't say I love this woman less.
From my mum I've learnt patience, she put up with my rudeness and anger for a long time and never loved me less. Not everything has gone her way but she never complains much. She sacrificed university and worked to put her other sibling through school.
I've learnt to always give when I have thanks to my mummy. My mother always gives, all the time. It would annoy me because I'd go to school and when I came back I wouldn't see alot of my things because my mum did 'mother Christmas' with them. But as I grew up I started appreciating the gift of giving through my mother  and I hope to teach my kids the same.
From my mother I've learnt to live a good Christian life. Everyday my mum gets up at 5:30 and prays till 8. She would lay flat on the floor and talk with God. It is my mother's prayers that guide me through life when I stray. She is devoted.
Making my mother laugh is my greatest joy; she has the heartiest laughter ever especially when she gets all red  and teary-eyed; it's the most beautiful sight ever.  She's not perfect, nobody walking this earth surface is but I wouldn't trade my ma for another. I don't care how perfect they are, they just wouldn't teach me the same life lessons as she has. I only pray to be as good a mother as she is. My mum has been a blessing to my life, she bathed me, cooked for me, taught me and read to me and when the time comes for me to do the same for her it would be an honour.
I could go on and on about the things I've learnt from my mum and why I love her. No doubt every mother is special, I mean for months they dealt with nausea, watched their feet swell, watched their body bloat, suffered sleepless nights and endured labour pains to bring us into this world. You would think their suffering would end there but some would have to put up with cheating husbands, ungrateful children and a demanding job. I personally think Mothers Day should be renamed superhero day because every mum is a superwoman. Cheers to all the mothers out there, God bless everyone of you and Happy Superhero day.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Lonely Boy


What inspires me?
Inspiration you say? Loneliness is what inspires me
In the time that I am by myself I am free yet lost
Have you ever felt that way?
Have you ever slept alone?
In a huge house, surrounded by people yet still lonely?
Everything seems to be in slow motion, time crawls by
Silence rules the day, you can even hear a pin drop on the floor,
Always lost in thoughts, in my own little world
That's my source of inspiration,
Time might be slow but my mind still glows,
In this world full of darkness and thoughts of blackness
Sometimes I try while other times I cry
Soon it will be all over, I tell myself
People pretend to care for eye service
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be
Neither am I suffering from a broken heart
And I do not walk this earth surface alone,
Do I have friends? Of course, no man is an island on his own
Look at me as the thinker
While some want to be the centre of attention,
I'm that secluded person in the corner studying life and thinking
Indeed silence is golden
What really matters to me is not this world
Not the fake friends nor the wealth of the world
God has been my refuge and strength and bestfriend,
Always has, Always will

Sunday, 11 March 2012

What's your story?

Hello darlings,
If you could let the world see one side of you or let them into your life, what would you show them? Participate in this blog feature and express yourself in any way you want.
I'm tired of seeing my own posts all the time on my blog so I decided I wanted all of you to contribute in any way possible. What's your story is a features where you send in a picture and an article on anything you want to talk about that is related to your picture. It could be you listening to music, wearing your favourite pair of shoes, with your boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever. It's all up to you. Send your entries to ayeeshalala@yahoo.co.uk and i'll gladly post it up. Now get to work! Can't wait to see what you guys are gonna cook up for me :D.

Hearts and kisses,
B

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Gold Digga


Prior to the return policy post, men don't think I'll let you walk free like that. We've all heard this phrase before, some girls have unfortunately been called that and some hide behind this word, Ahem, not calling names but some Nigerian men.
Once you start relying on your man for any financial requirement you are now termed a gold digga. Say what now? You see when you become my man, it is your responsibility to protect me, provide for me and profess me as your own. If you're truly going to be my man be ALL of it, not some of it. Don't be my man when it comes to food or your laundry and then some random man when it's money issues or family issues or whatever. Some of you use this term loosely to run from the providing aspect of a relationship, I get it. Y'all are some selfish creatures, always want to have your cake and then eat it. Of course I don't expect you to pay my rent, bills and what not; that right there would actually be gold digging, but if we go for movies or drinks, dude you better have your wallet standing by.
Let me put this way, if you're not gonna spoil us or if you plan on using the term 'gold digga' on us, DO NOT even expect us to cook for you or give you our cookies like that. We may be gold diggas but y'all are some sex and food mongers. I did say it was a two way thing right?

Scarlett Letters: The Return Policy

Scarlett Letters: The Return Policy: Women are demanding and what's worse is we don't even know what we want. That's the one question I never think is ever gonna get an answer;...

The Return Policy


Women are demanding and what's worse is we don't even know what we want. That's the one question I never think is ever gonna get an answer; what do women want? I earlier joked on twitter that I may be a boy trapped in a girl's body so forgive me if it seems like I pick on us women a lot. I'm not biased, I'm impartial. When it comes to relationships it's a two way thing so why should I side only one person. Anyways I live with my sister and I know just how demanding she can get sometimes, it drives me crazy, and that's me a fellow lady complaining, talk more of the boys.
I did mention that relationships is a two way thing right? good. Ladies it's not always about demanding, what are you giving back in return? He can't always pay the bills and shower you with presents or give you all his time and attention, you're not the only one who wants to be spoilt. You don't have to walk into Westfield now and buy out a store, you can return the favour by giving him his 'me time', let him play his Fifa in peace, watch soccer without you trying to stick your tongue down his throat. Cook him a nice home made meal, allow him watch his kind of movies when it's a night in. Before we get in relationships we make this unnecessarily long list of what we expect, "oh I want a man who would hold the door open for me" "I want a man to give me foot massages" "I want a man who would hold my hand in public and proudly introduce me to his friends". Errr are you asking yourself what your man wants as well?
Remember this; She Respects, He Loves. There's nothing a man likes more than a huge ego. If you return merely in respect by supporting him, being loyal to him and giving him what he wants occasionally, you've bagged yourself one perfect prince charming.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

My Shadow of Issues

LOL I didn't think the diary entry would reveal soo many friends-turned-therapists to me but nonetheless i'm grateful. I figured out that when things go wrong for me, I run and try to start afresh. I hide behind the excuse of "change". And trust me this happens alot especially after breakups. I dye my hair, get a new dress size, change my eye colour (contacts), cut my hair, get a new ear piercing, adopt a new look/personality whatever, a friend once joked that I'd soon be covered in tattoos,piercings, and a myriad of hair shades at the rate at which i always want to change something. God only knows why I'm writing all these.
Anyways my point is, there are others out there like me. As soon as we smell trouble, we''re fleeing as fast as we can. Just how many new starts would one get? Just how far can one run from their past? there are some demons that no matter how far you run would always be with you. Not to sound possessed, I mean, there are some issues that are stuck with you like a shadow. You just need to stop running, retreat and fight those issues. Now the question is what are the issues I need to deal with? do I even want to open that chapter? I've done such a good job burying them like 20 feet below, why unveil the ugly? Ugh 

Dear Diary

I feel like doing a journal entry and since I don't own one I might as well turn MY blog into my diary for the night. I feel zombified. Occasionally I fall into this trance where I can't feel a thing, no emotions run through me, well except when I'm crying for movies :$ (lately that's the only time I cry). I'm not excited about anything and I never want to do anything except sleep. I just want to have those lazy days :( which I can't cause I have alot to do. I thought my life was just empty so I tried to fill the void with all sorts of things, getting my first fashion job, doing a fashion course in addition to my joint honours, attending swimming classes, cooking classes, dancing classes, fashion shows. Sadly at the end of the day, when it's just me and my teddies on my bed, I'm back to my zombified form. Sometimes I'm saved by the red light on my blackberry or a tweet other times I'm forced to face my alone time which sucks. It sucks because I can't access my thoughts, I try to think but it is possible that i may have blanked out my thoughts cause they are depressing. So my mind is a blank canvass, feel free to paint a picture. Right now I just need a miracle, I miss the happy chipmunk on steroids I used to be. I have a lot of therapists, sadly no one is helping me atm maybe the help lies within me or not. I hate my zombified mooods :'(

He's Just Not That Into You

After watching He's just not that into you for like the umpteenth time, i could help asking myself why we girls take things, no matter how little and dissect them into little bits and pieces. So what he sent a kiss smiley while you were chatting, it doesn't mean he likes you now. So what he held you by the waist while you were group hanging, doesn't mean he's into you now. Somehow I feel sorry for the boys, we put them through hell. We take the little things they say and make a huge deal out of it.We pick up unnecessary quarrels with them, accuse them of cheating cause they looked twice at a girl. Errr we do worse in our minds. So it's okay for us to drool over the likes of Tyson Bettis and Laz Alonso but they comment on a girl's good looks and suddenly it's world war 3?! honey please! it takes two to tango. Why can't we just let things be? Stop complicating things in our heads and take things for what they actually are?  Or are we actually just programmed to think that way? Do we do the irrelevant little things as an attempt to find love or actually keep the "love" we think we've found?  I felt bad for Gigi though always picking up on the wrong signals. Often I've heard girls say "he's giving me mixed signals", I know I've said it myself but the ugly truth is he's just not that into you. The truth is one simple act might just be it for a guy, no strings attached. Stop analysing and picking apart on that action and debating possible "positive" reasons. If he has not vocally declared his feeling to you, do not ASSUME that he's into you! To be honest, men are not complicated creatures, very easy to figure out. You just need to pay attention and you'll know where you stand with them.
Que Sera Sera