Sunday, 4 December 2011

Fantasy or Commitment?


Wedding or Marriage? Too often I hear how we ladies say we want to get married, the popular phrase “I can’t wait to get married”, the poor boys, if they only got a dime for every time they heard that one. What I'm about to say isn’t new, well it shouldn’t be new to you.

Do we really want a marriage or just a wedding? Because they are two different things, a wedding; now that’s a show, a fantasy, the bride’s fantasy. It should be everything she has ever dreamed about from her three-tier cake, to the perfect bouquet, to the lovely wedding dress to her prince charming; that day should be all about her. We always fantasize about what our weddings should be like ( I know I’ve done that countless of times in my spare time, hell I'm always tempted to go and try on wedding dresses :$) but that’s where my fantasy stops. How often do we push past the perfect fairy tale wedding to the wedding afterlife; MARRIAGE itself.

I may fantasize about my wedding a million times but marriage scares the life out of me. That takes real commitment, waking up to the same person till you die, that’s real marriage, not this 72 days marriages that are going on (whoever started this divorce trend RME), sticking around through the good days, the bad days, when you’re in the mood for company and when you’re not, that’s the hardest for me, I love having people around me but when I want my space, I genuinely want my space but with marriage you can’t push your partner away cause the more you do, the less the chances are of bringing them back from wherever it is you pushed them to. The greatest challenge in a marriage is keeping the fire burning, still feeling the same way you once did before you got them to yourself. Most people stop trying after the wedding cause they feel now they’ve gotten them so there’s no point trying to stay sexy or trying to please each other but to me that’s when the real work starts, not when you had to sit through boring movies to impress her, spend the whole day in a salon tryna look fly for him or emptying your bank account to get the perfect gift, no it starts after the wedding; that’s when you have to prove to each other that you didn’t make the worst mistake of your life.


There is nothing wrong in daydreaming about the perfect wedding; it is afterall the prelude, the ritualistic and symbolic beginning of a marriage but let’s not get too carried away in wanting a wedding soo bad that we rush into a marriage just to get that perfect wedding day. In other words please stop with the divorces! It is also really funny how African mothers fuss about weddings, if you ask me they just want to indulge in the whole wedding parade, you know, show off what money can do, whose child’s wedding was better, who had the best lace and sprayed more money; that whole show, they keep pressuring youths into marriage, but they never really think about the great consequences of marriage, they won’t be there when he's suddenly gone all Chris Brown on yo ass. Don’t give into the pressure if you’re not ready.

Oh and if you are ever asked too often why you’re not getting any younger and still not married, I believe I just created the perfect excuse for you; I'm trying to find the right one who after 50 years still is the only person that stands out in a room filled with people, who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time, whom I can’t bear to be away from and you get the drift.... but on a serious note what I'm saying is that love shouldn’t have an expiry date.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Affordable Fashion? I Think so

Ahhhh Fashionista, weren't you just happy when Versace did a collection for H&M? Y'all sure did express your love for fashion by making the collection sell out in 24 hours, well done! Then some days later, Rumour had it Tom Ford might be going in that direction, hmmmmmmn to cop an item from that sexy hunk ooh la la.

Now i heard through the grapevine that Marni, the Italian designer would be designing for H&M as well, if you don't believe me go check the Vogue website -_-. Set to be launched for March 8th 2012, y'all better pray the world doesn't end 2012 as some of you think it might :p. Get ready to camp out once again for the Marni H&M Collection.

Bless the designers for making fashion affordable to everyone, well now you get to save up since it's 4 months away. See the full collection here http://www.vogue.co.uk/fashion/spring-summer-2012/ready-to-wear/marni/full-length-photos

Thursday, 24 November 2011

A Note Of Thanks

It’s thanksgiving!! to those that celebrate; Happy Thanksgiving, as for me everyday is thanksgiving day. I have a lot to be grateful for.
I’m thankful for everyday that I open my eyes and see the light, for the air that I breathe, I’m thankful, I may not deserve to see each day that I do but I’m blessed with such mercy. Thank you God!
I’m thankful for the opportunities I’m blessed with and I hope to make my parents proud someday.
I’m thankful for my friends and my enemies; I’m thankful for the friends who have been there for me through thick and thin, through tears and laughter, both those who lent a shoulder to cry on and those who didn’t (I’m sure you have your reasons).
I’m thankful for my parents of whom i came into this world through. Had you not done the deed that you did in the bedroom I wouldn’t be here, so I guess I’m thankful for marriage and sex as well. 
I’m thankful for love; I am loved and I love back. 
I’m thankful for each struggle that I go through. Life is a bed of rose, I contradict those who say it’s not, because roses have thorns, the rose depicting the façade we put up in the world and the thorns are the struggles and brokenness we try to hide from the world. Each struggle makes me a stronger person, moulding me to be the woman I will be tomorrow.
I am thankful for who I am. I couldn’t choose a better person to be. I am a beautiful imperfection; perfect in my own ways.
I am thankful for everything. This list would be endless if I start counting my blessings one by one. I’m just thankful for the countless blessings that I have. Keep being thankful not just in your heart but by showing appreciation as well, not only on days like this but everyday, you never know when your time would be up or whoever it is you’ve always wanted to show appreciation to but never did or always put off till another time. 
What are you thankful for?


Monday, 21 November 2011

Woman of Inspiration

She’s beautiful, She’s sweet, She’s crazy, She’s fun and She’s successful, if you don’t know her by the end of this article you damn right will. She’s the one and only Tyra Banks. I’m not here to write a biography of her for you, I’m just here to sing her praises.
I have adored and loved this woman from tender age, I remember telling people I wanted to be a supermodel like Tyra Banks but that didn’t work out, and then the Tyra Banks show came out and I said I wanted a TV show as well, don’t worry I’m not some crazy stalker Tyra wanna be. She’s phenomenal, she’s advised and changed the lives of many through her TV show and her programme; America’s next top model. You hear her story and you know she’s not a quitter, rejected by modelling agencies, ridiculed for her glamorous big forehead but wasn’t broken neither was she discouraged, she persevered because she had a dream in her heart and she’s achieved it, is achieving it and will continue to achieve it. Each time I watch her on ANTM, I’m in awe and one day I said to myself, I may not be a supermodel but it’s too soon to say I won’t have my own TV show but even if that doesn’t happen, I know this for sure, I wanna leave my footprint behind; I wanna make people’s dreams come alive mostly cause I couldn’t have all of mine, I wanna change lives and bring happiness to the people who think they don’t deserve it and I want to be Tyra’s successor :D (wishful thinking).
Of course she’s not perfect, no one is, but she has accepted her imperfection and used what God has blessed her with and that makes her a beautiful imperfection. Keep doing what you do Tyra. I couldn’t have picked a better woman of inspiration. Who’s yours?


Friday, 11 November 2011

Less Is More...

Familiar expression? Good, then why don't you act it? Let us not in the name of fashion drown ourselves in a collection of accessories, a myriad of colours or pattern artwork. The less, the better; make that you motto, live it, love it, breath it. If you must accessorise, accessorise elegantly, if you must mix colours, please bear in mind that people would stare at you, try not to blind them. Take it from these people:




Friday, 28 October 2011

Sex on Heels



Not quite the title you expected ey? Only the shoe lovers would know what sex on heels mean and men don’t take it personal but sometimes we do get more orgasms from the heels than from you.
I've always wanted a pair of louboutins and I'm currently saving up to buy one but that won’t stop me from walking into the louboutin parlour at Selfridges and dreaming away by trying on my dream shoes and getting all the shoe-garsm I can from it (I hope Selfridges don’t recognize my scheme soon and ban me from there).
That glorious feeling when you walk into a store and they just captivate your attention and you just want to slip your feet into them and when you do it’s like ‘mmmmmhn, My God these feel soo good on my legs’ then you don’t wanna take them off ever; when your feet fit perfectly with the shoes like they were made specifically for you and the cushion beneath your heel and ooh the sex appeal they give your legs when you stand tall in them and when you walk gracefully round the store in them, and the way they complement your posture, push out your bum a bit and give you that sex goddess feel *sigh* Men I dare you to beat that feeling from a shoe addict.
God bless the man that invented heels, I go with Marilyn Monroe on the fact that we do owe him a lot. I've said this before and I’ll say it again; In life you need two things, a good bed and a good pair of shoes, when you’re not in one you’re in the other. Go get your sex on heels baby, you know you want to ;)

AsToldByBondi: Sex on Heel

AsToldByBondi: Sex on Heel: Not quite the title you expected ey? Only the shoe lovers would know what sex on heels mean and men don’t take it personal but sometimes w...

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

A Woman's Worth

A woman's worth
All day long I couldn't stop singing Alicia Key's A woman's worth in my head and I got motivated to write on it. A woman's worth.... If you're reading this and you happen to a woman can you say you know your worth? Or are you settling for less? A real man can't deny a woman's worth (Alicia Keys), I couldn't have said it better. I know this particular friend who is dating the perfect definition of a douche bag who constantly feeds off her vulnerability and has brought more hurt in their short period together than in someone's lifetime (I'm only exaggerating by the way but he does treat her like shit) and it kills me more than ever that she doesn't know she deserves better or she probably does bt has has placed herself at a low worth, I can never tell. Even so, no woman should have a low self esteem, in my own eyes every woman is a superwoman, we are nurturing, loving,versatile, I mean we go through labour, we someday become mothers and employees/employers, juggling home life, our relationships and our careers; there's a reason why God gave us that role and not men. We are also awesome multi taskers, go watch " I don't know how she does it ", it's a man's world but it would mean absolutely nothing without a woman or a girl in it. If you think that wAy, you wouldn't let any man make you feel less. I also know just how desperate women are for relationships and love and it works out to our disadvantage Nd to the advantage of the boys (yup I said boys cause no man would treat a real woman like garbage) , they just feed their ego with your desperation and then leave you feeling worse about yourself. Sometimes they start out good, and then gbam! He changes, endless excuses, non stop arguing, constant lies, probably even cheating and you find yourself more unhappy in the relationship than you would have felt if you were single. Any man who values your worth would never let the flame go out but constantly be on the pursuit for your happiness. Let's face it no relationship is perfect, of course you'd fall out once in a while so don't go and walk out of the relationship when you could have fixed it and then blame innocent me and this article, i no dey oh. There's a certain quote that goes 'treat your woman right or someone else would' I might have remixed it but you get the point, bear that in mind if you feel neglected in a relationship. I'm not single because I don't have offers or people but I know my worth and I can't let some boy-turned-man overnight waltz into my life and turn it upside down for me, nope nada not in this lifetime. I do believe in fairy tales you know, I believe that there's a perfect prince charming for every girl, who do just about anything to make her happy but first....do you know your worth? Know ur worth so you don't get less than the best and until you find a real man who knows and values your worth, you can proudly say 'I'm single, sassy and satisfied'. Triple S effect baby. 
Deuces

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

AsToldByBondi: Stuck...

AsToldByBondi: Stuck...: Ever felt stuck? Like you're trying to move on but you just can’t move from the place where you are? The feeling sucks, especially when ...

Stuck...





Ever felt stuck? Like you're trying to move on but you just can’t move from the place where you are? The feeling sucks, especially when no one understands how you feel and you don’t exactly have the right words to explain yourself or worse when you don’t want to explain yourself and expect at least one person to understand how you feel but no one does, so you want to scream out loud at the top of your voice, or smash something, or just cry yourself to bed but sometimes  none of those options are available so you bottle up your feelings and let them weigh you down like you’ve got the weight of the world on your chest and then you wear the brightest smile every day and laugh the loudest and be the life of the party because well no one can see what you’re going through, you can’t explain it and you can’t get over it… ah well life really doesn’t suck doesn’t it? I mean it’s the 21st century you would think Apple would have created an app to deal with this sort of situation; I still don’t know the name for ‘this’ but I think it’s a disease. I think as the years go by, the value of friendship decreases, it aint what it used to be in those days (not like I was alive then) but I am old fashioned, I believe in true love and true friendship. When you’re usually the one being the life of the party and backbone to your friends, it wouldn’t kill to at least have them ask you once in a while if you're okay… it doesn’t kill. With social networks these days, friendship and love have lost their meaning, everything is at surface level, no one goes deeper any more, everyone is fine with the way things are but I'm not. LOL I'm rambling here but blame it on the insomnia, 3:16 a.m. and a Negress can’t sleep. I know not all my readers are Christians but most times when I do feel stuck I recite Psalm 34:18 over and over again to myself till I believe it ‘’The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit’’. Cliché as it may sound time does heal wounds and things would eventually get better. Sorrow doesn’t last a night, so I expect joy in the morning whenever I do wake up.And when next you feel depressed, follow my motto: earphones in, volume up, ignore the world. Bless

Monday, 20 June 2011

AsToldByBondi: Death

AsToldByBondi: Death: "'There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven; a time to be born and a time do die' ..."

Death

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven; a time to be born and a time do die"
                          Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
Death is natural and it will happen to us all; it is the fate of man
I know death exists but I never really understood the impact of death
Even when I lost my really good friend last month, it still did not dawn on me
The fact that they no longer exist; I cannot accept
It seems surreal to me,
That I would call her phone and she won't pick, that she'll no longer be a part of our group outings, that I won't see her kids, I just can't seem to accept that
But I recently went for my first burial,
My childhood friend lost her mum, and as we walked by her coffin
She lay there, cold, lifeless but at peace
As I  stood out there to see my friend before leaving
A part of me changed forever
My friend walked out of that church a broken woman
She had lost her world, her comfort, her joy, her supoport, her lover, her mother,
I stood helpless and stared at her not knowing what to do or say
My heart was broken for her,
Her eyes were pleading for help for comfort, her body was weak and then she broke down in front of me, fought back my tears with all I had, had to be strong for her; we all had to be
I've seen friends and family who were grieving bounce back from their misfortune and I admired them for this
It takes will and might to say goodbye to a loved one
Death is a painful experience not to the victim but to he family and those around
It is the tearing of one heart into two,
Death is inevitable and one day we must all return to our father
But I'm not here to remind us of our fatality
This is an ode to everyone who has lost someone soo close
And still had the strength to move on
And wake up every morning and put on a brave face for the world,
I dont know how you do it but the Lord is your strength
May God continue to bless and comfort you
We will all be reunited one day
Celebrate the life they once lived
Everyone leaves memories behind, dwell on them
Everything happens for a reason and indeed "God knows best"
"And I declared that the dead; who had already died, are happier than the living who are still alive"
                                 Ecclesiastes 4:2

Time Up

I stood and watched the blue skies turn to grey
Clouds gathered above my head
The birds had stopped singing and returned to their nests
I stood deserted and alone
Flowers withered and fell to the ground
The once rushing stream almost seemed still
A field once green and lush lay dry and brown
The wind was no longer soft and comforting but cold
There was a deafening silence
And then saw it
Death had come for me; it was my time

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Rose Coloured Glasses


Everything is beautiful when you’re looking through rose coloured glasses
Imperfection is beauty
The world is vibrant and colourful
No grey cloudy skies, no black and white world
Everyone is bold and beautiful
It’s not denial; its hope for a better world
I could take them off and see the ugliness in the world
But what’s life if all you are is bitter?
I like to see the rainbow after the storm
Love with the little pieces of a broken heart
And dance in the stormiest of weathers
I know that someday I will smile
And it won’t be fake,
I will laugh and not hear the bitterness in my own voice
Look through a rose coloured glass
Each time you do, it’s like seeing the world in a new way
See the good and not the bad
Get positive! 

Gone...



Where she once stood, stood an innocent little angel,
The one whose smile stole the heart of many,
Whose laughter filled your heart with joy,
Whose cheerful spirit made you forget about your sorrow
With big blue eyes that got you lost
Each time you stared into them
Whose heart was pure and clean and full of love,
Now replaced by a darkness enveloping her heart,
Those blue eyes were filled with hatred,
And her smile rarely seen stirred more trouble in your heart
Than joy
No laughter echoed from her
No did any sign of happiness show on her
She walked with bitterness and remorse,
Judging everyone and slowly killing them in her mind
She had a dark thundery cloud over her head wherever she went
She had lost her innocence
And more she had lost her heart. 

Friday, 20 May 2011

May 21st 2011

*sigh* Where do I even begin??...................
Today is the 20th of May 2011. The world we live in is supposedly meant to end tomorrow on the 21st of May 2011 according to... wait! who thought of this theory in the first place? I didn't know God had an earthly P.A.
Can we stop feeling smart with ourselves? Just because Adam and Eve ate of the tree of Good and Evil which supposedly gave them knowledge doesn't mean we know it all!! What breaks my heart more is that I see my fellow Christians who went to Sunday school, sat through Bible classes and the rest prepare for this ''doom day''. Did you not read your Bible? Did it not say that
''No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father'' Matthew 24:36
I mean you're trying to tell me that God left the heavens, His most trusted Angels and only begotten Son; Jesus all those people blameless in His sight and came down to earth to share this knowledge with man of when He is coming back. What a shame! Trying to be smarter than God I see, coming up with some calculations and bringing forth a date to scare people. God gave us this knowledge, don't try to be smarter than Him, He can jolly well take it back if He wants and then I'll see how we'll try to be as smart as Him. It is the end times, no denying tha,t but no one absolutely NO ONE knows the exact date that God Himself will bring this world to an end. You want to be smart? do this; STAY ALERT AND BE PREPARED and stop trying to come up with silly theories of the end times.
See you all on the 22nd of May 2011. Stay Blessed

B

Saturday, 9 April 2011

Azubah you live on forever ♥


The red light blinking on my phone
Says a message awaits me
Little do I know that it’s a message of death                                           
The words read ‘’Azubah is dead’’
The loudest scream escapes from my mouth,
Hear the agony, the pain,
First a tear drop, then a second and then comes the flood,
Just on the wall opposite me is the last picture of us on graduation day,
Everyone all smiles to be relieved from secondary school; me, her,  Adaeze and Jummai and then another of Plangnan, Chomo, Jummai, Azubah and I  
How could she be dead? How could she be gone so soon?
Just yesterday she tweeted and updated her bbm status.
Please be a prank I desperately pleaded.
More confirmations poured in on her death
My body violently shaking as I cry
Sobbing out my heart to the loss of the beautiful and strong Azubah,
She didn’t have it easy but she never let that get her down,
Her smile and those chubby cheeks; God!!!
How could such a rare gem like her be snatched from the world?
I picked up my Bible, the question ‘’why God?’’ could not be avoided now, why her? And then I come across my slum , her parting words to me were this ‘’ do you know the saddest part of this grad is the fact that when we grad we won’t be lucky to see each other again till the day you hear I’m married and who knows maybe I would even be dead. Sha just remember that I would always love and cherish you’’ had she known that indeed this would come to pass
But Azubah, you may be dead physically but you live on forever in my memories. I remember our junior days when we were the supposedly bad girls in our set for having boyfriends LOL and tablemates for almost five years! We really did share memories on that table
And NISSMUN when we were roommates, boy I loved those nights we had gisting and dressing each other up
And on visiting days when we would go to the Akpoko’s and have our little picnic.
You danced with passion, painted with passion and did everything with dedication. A faithful friend; rarely caught in our high school drama. Sometimes I felt you were too matured to be our age; you were such a unique person!
We really did have our moments together both good and bad and I will cherish those memories forever.
God knows best my love and I pray that as you look down on us mourning your departure you will truly be convinced that we love you and we miss you and one day we will be joined together in heaven in bliss.
I love you A.Z and I always will.

Monday, 4 April 2011

AsToldByBondi: Healed with Time...

AsToldByBondi: Healed with Time...: "I still remember that day like it was yesterday When you walked out on me and out of my life, I cried, I pleaded, I screamed, I shouted, Ye..."

Healed with Time...


I still remember that day like it was yesterday
When you walked out on me and out of my life,
I cried, I pleaded, I screamed, I shouted,
Yet you still turned on a deaf ear and walked away
I knelt down and I begged you, I held unto your clothes,
The tears streaming down my face, mascara smudged, eyes pleading, heart breaking,
On bended knees I asked you not to leave me,
You didn’t say a word, you just walked out and left the door open behind you,
I stayed crouched on the floor and watched you leave me; slowly disappearing into the distance,
For days I left that door open, hoping, praying that you would return just like you left me but you never did,
All that came through that door was the soft gush of the wind, the cold night and the moon that shone so bright,
Looking at that moon shining brightly up in the sky later replaced by the sun day after day transformed me
It gave me energy, it gave me hope, it healed me because I let myself hurt for a while and in my hurt I found comfort and in my comfort I found strength
The strength to pick myself up from the floor and start over again,
Today I saw you; you were with another girl, I had always thought what I would do when I saw you, screamed at you, break down and cry or want to hit you but I felt different…..
I didn’t even hurt, I didn’t even care, no part of me yearned to have you back, I realized with the days gone by that I deserved the best and the best was what I was going for,
The best which you weren’t…
I gave you my sincerest smile and walked away, I didn’t say hi, because I was taught as a kid ‘’forward always, backwards never’’
There's no point revisiting the past, when the future had so much for me
I'm a changed woman not even you can break me,
I've grown to love myself and I don’t need yours, I laugh more, smile more, dance more because life is too beautiful to be sad
Thank you for hurting me, you indeed created the beautiful woman who stands tall now

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

AsToldByBondi: Trapped....

AsToldByBondi: Trapped....: "Trapped… that’s how she feels in this worldA voice in her is crying out, The tears are burning her eyes, Her heart is aching, If only there..."

AsToldByBondi: Silent Screaming

AsToldByBondi: Silent Screaming: "The tears slowly roll down my cheeks My heart keeps yearning for help I am drowning in pain Like a hurricane, you’ve swept away my happines..."

AsToldByBondi: Stronger

AsToldByBondi: Stronger: "Out of the deep hurt of my heart I write out these wordsSee I've been pushed up against the wall, I've had my abilities undermined that i e..."

Stronger


Out of the deep hurt of my heart I write out these words
See I've been pushed up against the wall,
I've had my abilities undermined that i eventually began to lose hope in myself, 
Yelled at soo many times; sometimes when i listen hard i can still hear the words that were selectively shouted at me, 
There were days when I lay on the cold floor of the bathroom and cried my eyes out,
Days when I rocked myself to sleep and woke up
In cold sweats,
Days when I was terrified to get out of bed,
Knowing that when I later returned to it; it would be with swollen eyes and an empty heart,
I've walked around for so long with tears in my eyes,
Forcing myself to smile just to avoid the question ‘’what’s wrong?’’
What I never knew was talking to someone would actually help,

I have hurt……………but now I’m healed;
I looked the devil square in the eye and stuck my tongue at him,
I defeated him,
I've picked myself from the floor and wiped my tears,
Today I walk tall, head held high with the brightest of smiles on my face,
You can’t tell me sh*t because I've been there, done that.
Happiness comes from within, I can testify that.
Everyone thinks that I have it all, no one ever really looks beyond what they see,
And I’m not going to give them a reason to,
I’m not a straight A student but I'm not dumb,
I’m not the prettiest girl in the world but I’m still admired,
No I don’t have it all but I have something worth smiling for.
Life would throw all sorts of darts at you;
You can dance in the rain with me or let your tears flow with the rain drops,
Either ways happiness is a choice,
My life doesn’t feel so empty anymore; choosing happiness wasn’t the easiest choice but it sure as hell is the best choice I've made.
His words tore my heart and she broke me with every comparison, they never knew they did that and I wouldn’t make them feel guilty,
For what it’s worth they’ve made me the strong person that I am today and will be tomorrow and forever.
And every day I open my eyes, there is that assurance that God is holding my hand as I take every little step.

''You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices. Or you can fight back.Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world.That's just the way it is.But for the most part, you get what you give. The rest of your life is being shaped right now; with the dreams you chase, the choices you make and the person that you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time. And the rest of your life starts now''
                                                                           Haley James Scott
Life kicks you around sometimes, it scares you and it beats you up, but there's one day when you realize you're not just a survivor; you're a fighter. You're tougher than anything life throws your way. 

Saturday, 26 March 2011

Silent Screaming


The tears slowly roll down my cheeks
My heart keeps yearning for help
I am drowning in pain
Like a hurricane, you’ve swept away my happiness
Over time pictures fade and all that is left
Are the empty frames in which they once occupied
I've had sleepless nights, cloudy days, and stormy days
Will the pain ever end?  
I'm silently screaming for help
Im slowly losing my mind; going crazy
Save me while you can
I need someone to notice im struggling and give me a hand
See the hurt written all over my face
My heart is slowly breaking,
Im drowning in my hurt and I cant swim
I just need someone to understand
Is that too much to ask for?

Trapped....


Trapped… that’s how she feels in this world
A voice in her is crying out,
The tears are burning her eyes,
Her heart is aching,
If only there was one who knew how she felt
She just wants to run,
Run from her thoughts, run from the world
But there's no place for her to run to
She just wants to lie in the dark and let the tears flow
But she’ll rather put on a brave face
And smile even though that’s the last thing she wants to do
She’s given her shoulders to the world to lean on
But now the world is weighing her down
Shes wiped soo many tears yet no one has wiped hers
She has rushed to the aid of soo many
Yet no one has rushed to her side
She stands alone in this world even though she’s surrounded by soo many
For once if she just didn’t have to pretend that all is well
Cause she is running out of strength to stay happy
Soon she’ll drown in her problems
Will it be too late?
She keeps wondering what shes done to deserve this
She just wants to run away
Her ship is sinking,
All shes done is try to help others,
Yet everything she touches keep tumbling down
Everything comes crashing down on her
She just wants to start again
Undo all her mistakes and get through life
Her best intentions keep making a mess of things
Life isn’t fair; all she wants to do is get it right  

Thursday, 17 March 2011

AsToldByBondi: Vigilant or Blind?

AsToldByBondi: Vigilant or Blind?: "This morning I woke up to a broadcast, usually I would get angry but the first line caught my eye because it was about Gaga. And we all know..."

Vigilant or Blind?

This morning I woke up to a broadcast, usually I would get angry but the first line caught my eye because it was about Gaga. And we all know news about Gaga is just fascinating, her shoes, her sense of fashion, if she's coming out of an egg or wearing a meat dress, You get the gist. But this broadcast just clarified a lot of things to me and here it goes;
The song ''Alejandro'' by Lady Gaga. Very subtly the devil sneaks into our lives to steal and destroy souls! We don't even realize that by just singing the lyrics of a seemingly 'innocent' song with a nice tune, we open the dooor wider for his (devil) evil spirit!!

Alejandro means man's defender and protector (God)
Fernando means ardent for peace (Jesus)
Roberto means bright or shiningly framed (Holy Spirit).
Babe is the same as child

Now the lyrics:
''Don't call my name, don't call my name, Alejandro (God).
I'm not your babe (child) I'm not your babe (child) Fernando (Jesus).
Don't call my name, don't call my name Alejandro (God) Just let me go..

I won't further ask you to think twice about what goes in your head. Lady Gaga sold her soul to the devil for fame, having 8 million ''followers'' on twitter, the new top selling artist and top winner at the grammmys. Do you need a handwriting on the wall to tell you that this is the devil's work? Remember the images of Gaga being carried inside the egg on a cross? Hatching from an egg signifies her cold blooded rebirth. And the implanted horns on her shoulder and cheek bone?? definitely the bride of satan. And you would not believe that my laptop just underlined ''satan'' as an error expecting me to write satan with a capital ''S'' like he deserves that respect. In the beginning of the Bible (Genesis), he came as a snake to Eve and destroyed what would have been a blissful life for all of us now. That is just what he is; a snake, he will sneak into your life and inject you with poisonous venom and soon it will be your end. He has sugar coated our doom and we are enjoying the sweet sensation of it but the coat will wear off and would you be caught saying ''Had I known?''

Many of the common things we see on t.v these days have hidden mind-controlled meanings.The devil was the head of music in heaven, he knows just how to dance his way into our lives with 'simple' lyrics. There are a lot of weak people out there who would believe what they hear and constantly live in denial and make it just as easy for the devil to take over their closed minds. It is the last hour and the devil will try to lead you astray, pray God's anointing on you that you would not end up in the wrong place. There is a war going on between Good and Evil with very few fighters for good left in this world, I would go down fighting for Good bearing in mind that Good always ALWAYS triumphs over evil! I would love to tell you alot more about our favourite songs; Russian Roulette or even Rihanna ''Riry'' herself but time won't permit me otherwise. Check out this website www.vigilantcitizen.com. Don't let your ignorance lead to your destruction.

Ooh and what's with people trying to feel smarter than God, figuring out the day the world shall come to an end. Do y'all not read your Bibles? I keep seeing people fear for their lives and saying they will repent before May 21st 2011, some say the world is gonna end in 2012 but this is what the Bible says and I quote;
''For you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night''
                                                                        1 Thessalonians 5:2
I didn't know that thieves posted the days they would be robbing your house. Be alert and be wise. Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4;23)

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

AsToldByBondi: ♥~VALENTINES~♥

AsToldByBondi: ♥~VALENTINES~♥: "Oooh yeah!!! it's the love month! and the lovers day is slowly approaching, I see ladies going to the spa getting ready, I hear reservation..."

♥~VALENTINES~♥


Oooh yeah!!! it's the love month! and the lovers day is slowly approaching, I see ladies going to the spa getting ready, I hear reservations being made in top notch restaurants, I see men going to the shops wouldn't be going to on a normal day; (coff coff LASENZA hehe). I see florist trying to get the perfect flower arrangement for that day, tailors sewing in only red, decorations being put up in shop displays and all that. Cupid's gonna see the outcome of his work that day, for those who have come thus far and those who fell out along the way, those dressing up and going out and those curling up on the sofa with ice cream and movies ( shout out to us single ladies!!!!!!) and those lucky ones who will find love that day!


Whatever the event is that day, valentines is all about love, not sex, money, pleasure or whatever it is that people think valentines day is for them. It's love!!! so love that day because you can! feel the love in the atmosphere, it don't matter if your heart was broken some days before valz, shake it off, drink it up and love with all you've got, cause it would totally suck to be down on valentines day. Break the rules! wear a smile! put on make up even if Ur gonna be home all day, spritz on Ur best perfume, flirt if U like, if U dont want to go out chill at home, pop a bottle, treat urself to chocolates, forget sugar levels or diets, if u wanna go out wear Ur best heels, dance all night, be d last on the dancefloor whatever you do, do it with love but don't let this day full of love pass U by!


                                                                                                                                    x♥x♥

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Lost without you


When a whisper turns into a scream... 
Searching for an answer when there is none...
My tear drops form an ocean ...
Old friends become strangers ...
Lightness fades to grey ...
The power of love weakens ...
Grasping for breath with all my strength...
Yet it feels like breathing underwater...
Dying a little with every breath I take...
Trying to talk but no one is listening...
Silence becomes a deafening sound...
A voiceless sympathy is all I need...
Agony rips through me with the memories of you...
I keep searching for a place within 
Where I can live my life without you

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

AsToldByBondi: ♥~♫~♪ Music Saves My Soul ♪~♫ ~♥

AsToldByBondi: ♥~♫~♪ Music Saves My Soul ♪~♫ ~♥: "Music and Rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul ♫♫♫ Ever noticed how music calms the mood? Ever found the ..."

♥~♫~♪ Music Saves My Soul ♪~♫ ~♥

Music and Rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul


♫  Ever noticed how music calms the mood? Ever found the right words in the lyrics of a song when trying to explain your mood? There’s just something sooo soothing about the beats, the rhythm, the lyrics, the voice and oh Lord nothing better than using headphones or earphones on the loudest. It shuts the whole world out, it drowns your thoughts and it shuts the voices in your head. Boy was I glad when I first got my Beats by Dre, it was just me in my own perfect world, me and the voice booming loudly into my head. There’s never a worry for me when I've got my music with me, I drop my burden when I put those headphones on, I stop the tears when I put those headphones on, I shut out the world with my music.♫ 


Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul. Music is what feelings sound like, you can’t express yourself in your own words, there’s always a song to do that. There is a song for every situation in life, bitter or sweet, soft or loud, jazz or rap, put a song to it.♫ 


Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence; drink from it and be filled, get drunk with music, you won’t regret it. Music produces a kind of pleasure that human nature can’t do without.
When I hear music, I fear no danger, I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times and to the latest. Music gives voice to joy, sorrow, ecstasy, pleasure, lamentation and laughter. Without music, life is a journey through the desert♫ ♫ ♫ 

AsToldByBondi: ♥~My Perfect Dress~♥

AsToldByBondi: ♥~My Perfect Dress~♥: "Every girl dreams of the perfect white wedding, I dream of the perfect dress, one that sits elegantly on my body, one that drapes my curves ..."

♥~My Perfect Dress~♥

Every girl dreams of the perfect white wedding, I dream of the perfect dress, one that sits elegantly on my body, one that drapes my curves and enchant the eyes, one that makes me feel like a naughty princess ;), one that accompanies me the wearer and smiles with me too and one that frames me up like the perfect picture and makes me feel like a porcelain doll. 
Of what material shall it be made of? I don't care, shall it be soft sheer silk that caresses my skin or posh elegant lace, or rich and luxurious Duchess satin? Shall it be made of rich brocade weaves or the fine net meshing of tulles or with the plush embossed luxurious patterns of velvet? Do I want a mermaid line dress or a full Ballerina dress? An Asymmetrical wedding dress or a Ball Gown Silhouette dress?
Soo many choices to be made soo little time, but when I think of the perfect dress, I know this for sure; When I wear that dress I'm going to be the only girl my Groom sees in the room, When I wear that dress, eyes would blink, heads would  turn, necks would crane, men would lament at their loss and women would envy me, When I wear that dress, there won't be an ounce of doubt in my blood and when I walk down the aisle in my perfect dress, I'm going to know that I'm not making a mistake but I'm starting a new life being a 'Mrs' and when he twirls me on the dancefloor, I want that dress to move in accordance with me and the rhythm of the beats, softly swaying to his heartbeat. And when I throw my bouquet, I want that dress to be the memory i cling unto of that beautiful ceremony. I want my dress to define me on that ceremonial day
                                                                   ♥~♥~♥~♥

"A beautiful dress may look beautiful on a hanger, but that means nothing. It must be seen on the shoulders, with the movement of the arms, the legs, and the waist." 
 Coco Chanel
"A girl should be two things; classy and fabulous." 
 Coco Chanel
A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.  ~Françoise Sagan

♥~Shoes~♥

I have a Passion for Fashion and an undying love for SHOES!!! they give me the joy that not even my boyfriend can give (I hope he never sees this post) 

In life you need two things, a good bed and a good pair of shoes, when your not in one, you're in the other! Simple! I love shoes because they make me feel good and I walk tall in them (literally), shoes are the one thing that wouldn't disappoint you! (except if the heels break or the suede go bad). 
Diamonds used to be a girl's best friend but let's face facts not every one can afford one! Shoes should be your new best friend; You can always get one in your price range.
Jimmy Choo describes heels as feminine yet empowering, with a lot of sensuality to it. Ever notice how confident you get on heels, your strides change, your posture straightens, you sway your hips, and hold your head high, no matter how low your confidence was before you put on those heels, the story changes when your feet fit in place, a new aura of confidence emanates from you.   
Shoes can make or break an outfit!

I don't know who invented the high heel, but all men owe him a lot.  ~Marilyn Monroe
                                                                      ♥~♥~♥
Funny that a pair of really nice shoes make us feel good in our heads - at the extreme opposite end of our bodies.  ~Levende Waters
                                                                      ♥~♥~♥
“Give a girl the correct footwear and she can conquer the world”
-Bette Midler

Friday, 14 January 2011

Betrayed.........

              *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

....................so there we are all in the room, me, him and her, the gun aimed. The deafening silence and tear-stricken faces. A mocked and betrayed bride, an adulterer of a husband and a backstabbing friend.
I was his bride of four hours and she was my best friend of 18 years. It was supposed to be a perfect day. Every girls dream; her wedding day. But here I was my tear-stricken face, mascara smudged and foundation ruined.
I noticed something was missing as I sat down on the table, family and friends were all dancing, eating, mingling, gnawing each other’s heads and just doing their thing. But the groom was nowhere to be found and so my brides maid. So I gathered my layer of gown to set out for my bridesmaid to keep me company. I checked the kitchen but she wasn’t there, neither was she at the bridal room she wasn’t with the other brides nor was she at the fountain where almost all singles were. I walked into my room but she wasn’t there so I concluded that she went somewhere to get away from all the socialising as that week had been hectic for both of us. ‘’lucky girl,’’ I thought, she could get away but I couldn’t. Then I decided to look for my husband so we could dance to our song. I checked with the grooms men but they hadn’t seen him, I checked the parlour but only the fathers and uncles were there watching football, I checked the bar and also all the rooms in the mansion but he was nowhere to be found. Weird I thought to myself. Then I realised I hadn’t checked the guest room. He could be there for a fag I said to myself. So I picked up my garment and plastered my bright smile on my face. As I approached I heard moaning and smelt sex in the air. I giggled at the thought of people getting it on at a wedding. Then I heard Mona’s voice and blushed to myself, so Mona was getting her groove on instead of keeping me company, the little tweet. I felt envious of my best friend that she was getting some company while I couldn’t even find my husband. Then I turned to go till I stopped dead in my tracks. Was it me or did Mona say ‘’Freddie’’ in her bit of ecstasy. I shook my head and started going off again. Perhaps it was cause I was thinking of him, then I heard his voice. In a mini second I was in the room, Mona and Freddie in what I can only describe as an unholy and in despicable union......my best friend and my husband of four hours.
The tears started gushing down with no control. I stared from face to face for a minute and walked away. I ran past my mum who was waiting for me with arms wide open and her friends who she had been bragging to about me, I couldn’t stop and I knew I was leaving concerned looks on people’s faces. I ran up to the study, to the shelf and started pushing books out of the way. Where was that damn gun when you needed it? I kept searching frantically till I found it. By then the pair were successfully in the room. I walked quietly to the door bolted it and flung the key out the window, all the while hiding the gun in my massive wedding dress (thank God for big gowns). Mona started crying and apologising saying she didn’t want to ruin my day, it happened like that she wasn’t thinking and Freddie, still calling me baby at this point and saying he was tempted and he was weak, so what happened to a quick shag with the bride he had to go for the bridesmaid, was it cause her gown was easier to get out of? Tempted my ass, I pulled the gun out and that shut them up.
‘’Angie drop that thing please,’’ Freddie said softly
‘’w-w-where did you get that from?’’ Mona stammered ‘’please put it away’’
I only flashed a smile and said ‘’ there’s one bullet here and I’d want to use it wisely so shut up while I pick, you both betrayed me, do you know how bad I hurt right now? You didn’t think you would get caught didn’t you? Well life has a funny way of snitching out and this is me revenging. Mona is this your present to me? Freddie what happened to the sweet guy who captured my heart, whom I fell in love with and exchanged vows with four hours ago? This is the lifetime love you promised? You couldn’t wait one year to sleep out of our marital bed? Really? Were you that desperate? Or horny? I just don’t get it. The both of you own a half of my life, you took me for granted and this is me standing up for what you’ve done. I'm gonna have to kill one of you or better yet injure you so you’ll remember this day and I don’t care If I get thrown in jail but you two are not getting off easily. One of you just has to suffer with me. ’’ the horrific expressions on their faces told me they were shocked. Quiet Angie always being an angel and here she was deciding who to kill. Life is ironic isn’t it?
‘’Mona how could you do this to me after 18 years of friendship?’’ I asked crying but still holding the gun defensively. ‘’and Freddie if it was Mona you wanted why go through this stress?’’ I said gesturing with one hand to the gala going on in the garden of our home. Anger and disgust crept over me in a second and what they had done, the deed, the betrayal, the shame, the mockery everything dawned on me and I hated myself more than I did the criminals. I looked at Freddie one last time and then at Mona switching the aim with the look, Mona’s tears only increased when the gun was pointed at her and Freddie pleaded with his eyes. I heard my brother pounding on the door asking what was wrong and my mum, God bless her soul, asking why I was crying on my wedding day. I shot a look at the both of them to not say a word about them being held hostage. I silently asked God for forgiveness and one look at the both of them I pointed the gun and shot.